Over the course of my career, I spent many weekends as part of a team that treated thousands of National Guard Soldiers, many of whom deployed to faraway places, leaving their families and the comforts of daily life to protect us and preserve our way of life. I emerged from every one of those long weekends exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. We provided our heroes with some basic dental care, enabling them to do what they needed to do without the threat of a dental issue disrupting them in times of combat. And we made some lifelong friendships! The soldier work I did is a part of my why. I can even recall one month where, between my work in my office and for the military, I worked for 21 days in a row. One of our colleagues is 86 years old and still going strong!
A few years ago, Laura Schwindt, Karen Tindall, and I talked about the power of words, the need to think before speaking, and ensuring that what we say is consistent with our core values and not hurtful to other well-intended people. In a world and profession pockmarked with depression and suicide, these skills are critical.
They serve us and others well in every aspect of our lives!
I used those skills one afternoon when dealing with a soldier whose oral health was more than a wee bit compromised. When I urged him with the utmost respect and humility to visit the dentist more frequently, his response was, “I don’t go at all; who wants to have their teeth drilled? I sure don’t!”
Rather than give him some variant of the typical “OK, do what you want and watch your teeth drop one by one” or a lecture on what he’s not doing and must do, I sat him up and just listened to his concern. I expressed empathy with his very sensible desire not to be tortured by dental procedures. Then we spoke about the reality that all health, including dental health, is behavioral. We discussed his fantastic training as a soldier and in his vocation. We spoke about maintaining cars and houses. Then we spoke about health as a lifestyle choice. I expressed my admiration and respect for a man who would fight for more than 300 million people he’d never met, and I hoped that he would see his health as an equally worthy battle. We concluded with the idea of having a dental hygienist coach him on creating a healthy environment in his mouth and body.
The look in this outstanding gentleman’s eyes changed at the end of our visit. He said, “Thanks, Doc. You gave me something to think about seriously.” Now, I’m not sure if this soldier made a change, but I am sure that he got the message much more clearly than if someone had lectured him on how inadequate his home care is.
When we see everyone we encounter as a human being with fears, needs, wants, and limitations, we can alter our verbiage and body language to let them know that we are doing our best to advocate for their best interests. When we are focused on and at peace with our own why, seeking to do well while doing good, we can listen carefully, respond appropriately (Thank you for that one, Mark LeBlanc!), and guide people gently, kindly, and without judgment toward something good.
Isn’t that what a DOCTOR is supposed to do?
And the same holds true for our teams. Let’s stop bashing or berating and start nurturing and building. It’s one way not only to stop the attrition in our PROFESSION but also to build a loyal, principle-centered community of caring.
When we use our filters of kindness and our power to build people up, our patients will do better. When we build a culture of person-centeredness in all that we do, we rise above the fray and occupy a very special place in the hearts and minds of those who trust and depend on us.
When we pave our roads with empathy and loving-kindness, we are far more likely to Enjoy the Ride!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alan Stern, DDS, retired from clinical dentistry in 2023 and now operates Better, Richer, Stronger, LLC. He is a dental practice coach, keynote speaker, and author.
His book, Enjoy the Ride, is available on Amazon.
Join his Facebook group, strangely called Better, Richer, Stronger.
He can be reached at alan@betterricherstronger.com.
FEATURED IMAGE CREDIT: Created by Robiul Islam/Shutterstock.com.
